Burch Draft Revision Checklist

In revising this paper, I noticed that there were many grammatical errors I was intentionally unaware of. I think the introduction could be further expanded to give greater detail to what exactly my project is about. I also noticed that some of the points I attempted to make concerning the importance of the Sutherlandia Frutescens were repeated throughout the paper. This illustrates a lack of complete understanding of the plant, and that I need to think of more reasons we should invest time into this project. The sentence structure of some of my paragraphs are a bit choppy, and don’t flow well due to wordiness. I also noticed that my implementation of the project is a bit vague. I don’t really know the resources and tools I need, or exactly how to measure the effectively of the plant on AIDs patients. I also don’t know the time length required to fulfill this project. Finally, my conclusion is fairly weak. It only reiterates what I said initially in the paper; it does nothing to convince the audience to fund my academic project. Overall, the paper doesn’t capture the audience’s attention and the project itself isn’t presented clearly.